Typologies

As all families are different and there are various situations in which a grandchild can find themselves prevented from seeing their (safe) grandparent, we have created the following typologies.

Typologies are social classifications that can help all of us to better understand complex sets of family dynamics.

We have initially identified six typologies of grandchildren who are actively prevented from sustaining their relationship with their grandparents.

These are:

grandchildren with a deceased parent with that grandparent lost as remaining parent ‘moves on’
grandchildren with separated parents introducing estrangement or alienation of (generally) the non-resident parent's parents
grandchildren with parental mental health problems
grandchildren with a difficult parent/in-law-grandparent relationship, either being high-conflict or in a dispute
grandchildren who have never met their grandparent or only in infancy, either due to a sibling being prevented from grandparent contact or because their parent and grandparent were already estranged prior to birth
grandchildren whose grandparent is subject to elder abuse by their parent e.g. a grandparent seeing their grandchild is conditional on lending parents money

In all cases except the first, the grandchildren are weaponised in relation to the grandparent.

Is the impact the same for all typologies?

The effects on both grandchild and grandparent however, regardless of typology, are known to have significant and long-term psychological health and wellbeing impacts for both parties from the loss and grief that follows the forced cessation of their relationship.

Unsupported loss and grief in childhood is known to lead to long-term mental and physical health problems including depression, anxiety, relationship difficulties, substance abuse, criminal justice encounters, and problems securing qualifications and financial stability:

The grandchild often bears a significant and solitary burden from missing their grandparent, often finding themselves without a safe space to speak about their much-missed grandparent. As
- their parent will often react angrily or with similar consequences due to their own emotions on the matter
- adults such as teachers who are a safe adult for the grandchild are often forbidden to talk to the child about their missing grandparent.
No child bereavement services offer support for this type of 'living’ bereavement. We are undertaking a survey of child psychologists, psychotherapists and counsellors to see if those practitioner groups can and do effectively provide support to grieving grandchildren.
Schools generally do not have access to supporting loss resources despite a grandchild often disclosing their grief or manifesting it via act-out, aggressive or withdrawal behaviours in the school setting.

Regardless of typology, we do not believe that grandchildren should be carrying this loss and in the main carrying it unsupported. We are concerned for those grandchildren with such significant current and future impacts.